Along Came Bonny Meghali Barua
“Gold, Glitter, Wedding Bells and the Wedding Season”
(This was published in the Melange, the Sunday magazine of the Sentinel on 22nd September, 2013)
The advent of the wedding season usually ushers in a state of euphoria in the society. The heightened sense of activity everywhere reinstates the fact that the auspicious season of couples exchanging “I do” has indeed started.
I love weddings…… I love seeing a beautiful and brightly bedecked bride and a groom exchanging the sacred vows entwining their destinies together, promising to “love and to cherish till death do us apart”. Such an occasion usually brings a tear or two to the eyes of even the most hard-hearted cynic. There is something very profound about a wedding which makes it seem divine for all of us.
However attending wedding receptions unfurls quite a different story……I have had the pleasure of attending a number of wedding receptions this year and I am sure everybody would be familiar with the experiences I am going to enumerate…..
Attending receptions usually present a big eternal problem for the women-folk of “what to wear???”…..
Usually weddings mean a time where the women-folk like to show- off their finery and bedazzle the crowd with their innate beauty. However, in a bid to stand out in the crowd, the entire wardrobe would be ruthlessly emptied out and inspected for a dress or mekhala chador which is yet to be seen by everyone. The poor wardrobe pieces would be looked and scrutinized at close quarters, their flaws (usually pertaining to the fact of having been worn before) firmly and loudly berated to anyone who would be within ear-shot. After a long session of moaning and grieving, finally the attire for the evening would be chosen most ruefully with the announcement that “I do NOT have anything nice ( read new) to wear!!”. The poor husband, as in most cases, would pretend to be hard of hearing during the entire session. He would, much later, try to win over with the statement “Oh! But you look beautiful in anything you wear.”The warring wife might be appeased depending on her mood and if she is in a good, forgiving frame of mind, the husband might just be lucky enough to escape with it.
Another major issue while attending receptions is reaching the venue of the reception itself. I mean, navigating through the ‘artistically’ broken-down roads of Guwahati embodies a Herculean task which will put even likes like Christopher Columbus to shame. My advice would be to leave an hour early if you want to reach your destination at a particular time. Otherwise by the time you reach the location, the wedding reception might just be wrapping up and you will have to return home with your stomach growling back curses at you.
Sometimes you might have had the experience of reaching a venue and you, all of a sudden, become aware that you are being greeted by unfamiliar, unknown faces. As you put on the best smile you can muster, crane your neck to catch the glimpse of a familiar face, a profound realization dawns upon you that you have landed up at a completely ,wrong wedding party. All you can do then is to utter profuse apologies and make your way back after wishing the bewildered hosts well and willing your face not to turn and display various shades of red.
Gifts sometimes can become the bane of your existence…… A person I know ‘thoughtfully’ decided to present a small sum of money to a newly married couple. To her utter dismay, she discovered that the small offering, which was supposed to be inside the envelope, lying cheerfully on her desk back home. That person even today, shudders at the idea of coming across the smiling, happy couple.
Another incident which simply needs to be re-told is about another happy occasion when a person attended a wedding reception, had a gala time and while returning home realized that she still had the humble gift in her hands. Believe me , every bit of the anecdote is true!
Weather! The truant weather in Guwahati city unfurls yet another chapter….
God forbid if the Rain God decides to be on- the- go on a day you are supposed to attend a reception and the venue is in a flood-prone area (in Guwahati almost every area can boast of this unique character). If it so happens, then only a quick prayer and a chant that “all iz well!” can give you the hope of coming out victorious and unscathed from such a ‘dangerous’ predicament.
Guwahati’s climate becomes very hot and humid during summers and if you have to attend a summer wedding than you can prepare yourself to brave the stickiness, the heat and the frequent moping of trickles of sweat off your face. The carefully applied make-up disappears within seconds and you are left looking like Samara (a ghoulish character) from the movie titled “The Ring”. And as if that is not bad enough, you realize that the hall is jam-packed with equally sweaty throngs of people and your clothes are stuck to you like you have just been out in the open dancing in the rain.
Food!!! With the hosts (usually the hassled mother or father of the bride or the groom) imploring you to go to the “food zone”, you mentally prepare yourself to make use of your unique talent of impromptu gymnastics and juggling (a trait coming to a woman naturally having to juggle her clutch, her cell-phone and her plate of food…. all on her six-inch high heels). You then carve your way through the mélange of people, carry your plate full of food and reach where your family and friends have already assembled. All the while you are trying hard to keep your balance so as not to drop your plate of food on yourself or for that matter on the people coming and blocking your way. And all, mind you, have to be done with utmost poise and grace and your thousand-watt smile still plastered firmly on your face. You will then have to eat and simultaneously partake in the ‘intelligent’ discussion of diet plans and politics and if you are fond of sports you can extol the ‘brilliant’ performances of our very own Indian cricket team in the recent matches.
People!!Weddings do give you an excellent opportunity to socialize. You meet people whom you have not met or heard for a long time ….. an easy camaraderie permeates the atmosphere. Loud laughter( sometimes mingled with not-so-covert belches) can be heard from different corners and when you are just thinking “everything is going on wonderfully” suddenly a smiling stranger comes up to you. The happy stranger inquires about you, your job, your parents, your uncles and aunts in a really familiar way. Yes, you still have your thousand-watt smile on your face and yet you cannot seem to recognize this gentle but utter stranger. As you try to coax in signs of recognition on your face, you are concurrently raking your brain, desperately trying to recall when and where you have met this person before and whether he or she is a friend or a distant relative. Nevertheless, you gamble by conversing on seemingly safe and sound issues like the person’s health and work while taking care not to blurt out misplaced names or anything that might just give your game away.
A person of my acquaintance chatted happily with her long-lost school friend for a long long time and made the massive blunder of thinking the friend’s husband to be the friend’s son and addressed him as such. I believe , that evening, the husband of the long lost school- friend probably walked out a very happy man and my acquaintance inevitably red-faced.
Wishing everyone a happy and funny wedding season….
